Monday, December 06, 2004
Tribute: Sandy Cohen
I have had the privilege, and believe me it is a privilege, of getting to watch most of the first season of The OC two times. Unlike Stu, I also had the privilege of watching both Beverly Hills 90210 AND Melrose as a youth. A key difference between these early 90s soaps and The OC is the believability of the Cohen family. They even trump the Walsh’s from 90210. The events in The OC are still totally unrealistic, especially the terrible luck of Marissa and Ryan, but the Cohen family is believable and enjoyable
Most critics have rightly credited this realism as the primary strength of the show, and have given much of the credit to Seth Cohen and the actor Adam Brody. While I do enjoy Seth’s character, watching the first season for the second time revealed to me that Seth has a personality flaw that I can’t always bear: He is a giant pussy.
On the other hand watching The OC for a second time reinforced the greatness of Sandy Cohen, who has become the fictional TV character I would most want to be my father. Of course, the competition for this award is minisclue, as most of my favorite televison shows feature dysfunctional idiots (Seinfeld, Simpsons,) or criminals (The Sopranos) as prominent male role models...Hmmmmm.
I will not investigate the psychological ramifications of this revelation at this time. Rather, let me tell you why you should worship Sandy Cohen. He’s got it all, beginning with the smoking hot wife. Kristen Cohen doesn’t get nearly enough credit for her hotness, which is I guess understandable since she doesn’t go around seducing teenagers like Julie Cooper and The OC is stocked with hot girls. More importantly, she is loaded! This allows Sandy to give his life to service, the less needy, yet still come home to the posh lifestyle we males desire so much. Truly a role model for all of us lazy fucks out there.
Plus Sandy never backs down from his arch-nemesis Caleb. Not only is he married to his daughter and living in his house, but he also treats Caleb like a total dick! Bravo indeed.
With regards to his son(s), Sandy plays the perfect role, always being there for important moments like when Oliver had kidnapped Marissa, or Ryan has to drive back to Chino. He lets Seth be the pussy that Seth must be, yet reinforces to Seth that he must “be a man,” at the right time…for example in choosing between Summer and Anna. (Note: Like Stu, I am horribly disappointed in Seth for this choice. While I originally thought this was the correct choice because Summer was hotter, I now realize that my logic was totally flawed, exceedingly macho, and pig-like. Anna is actually hotter.)
And yet we know it must have killed some part of Sandy that Seth was such a pussy. Sandy is a badass surfer dude that scored the hot rich girl. He is the outsider living in the world of the snobbily rich. So what does he do? Why he gets a surrogate son. The jock, outsider kid that he and Kristen never had.
People wear bracelets reminding them of What Would Jesus Do. I guess if you were going to pick one person’s dogma to follow, the son of a perfect God isn’t a bad place to start. But let’s face it, Jesus was long in the past. Following his lead may have worked few millennia ago, but The Bible just doesn’t apply to modern times.
Plus unlike the olden days, where we only had the Bible and stories to tell us what to do, we now have so many other mediums from which to choose our idols. Because of this, and the changing nature of my life, I look to many people for advice. What would Jay Z do, is one of my personal favorites. Other models include Link, Tom Brady, and Matt Dorfman. When I become a father, you can be sure that I will be thinking to myself, “What would Sandy Cohen do?”
Most critics have rightly credited this realism as the primary strength of the show, and have given much of the credit to Seth Cohen and the actor Adam Brody. While I do enjoy Seth’s character, watching the first season for the second time revealed to me that Seth has a personality flaw that I can’t always bear: He is a giant pussy.
On the other hand watching The OC for a second time reinforced the greatness of Sandy Cohen, who has become the fictional TV character I would most want to be my father. Of course, the competition for this award is minisclue, as most of my favorite televison shows feature dysfunctional idiots (Seinfeld, Simpsons,) or criminals (The Sopranos) as prominent male role models...Hmmmmm.
I will not investigate the psychological ramifications of this revelation at this time. Rather, let me tell you why you should worship Sandy Cohen. He’s got it all, beginning with the smoking hot wife. Kristen Cohen doesn’t get nearly enough credit for her hotness, which is I guess understandable since she doesn’t go around seducing teenagers like Julie Cooper and The OC is stocked with hot girls. More importantly, she is loaded! This allows Sandy to give his life to service, the less needy, yet still come home to the posh lifestyle we males desire so much. Truly a role model for all of us lazy fucks out there.
Plus Sandy never backs down from his arch-nemesis Caleb. Not only is he married to his daughter and living in his house, but he also treats Caleb like a total dick! Bravo indeed.
With regards to his son(s), Sandy plays the perfect role, always being there for important moments like when Oliver had kidnapped Marissa, or Ryan has to drive back to Chino. He lets Seth be the pussy that Seth must be, yet reinforces to Seth that he must “be a man,” at the right time…for example in choosing between Summer and Anna. (Note: Like Stu, I am horribly disappointed in Seth for this choice. While I originally thought this was the correct choice because Summer was hotter, I now realize that my logic was totally flawed, exceedingly macho, and pig-like. Anna is actually hotter.)
And yet we know it must have killed some part of Sandy that Seth was such a pussy. Sandy is a badass surfer dude that scored the hot rich girl. He is the outsider living in the world of the snobbily rich. So what does he do? Why he gets a surrogate son. The jock, outsider kid that he and Kristen never had.
People wear bracelets reminding them of What Would Jesus Do. I guess if you were going to pick one person’s dogma to follow, the son of a perfect God isn’t a bad place to start. But let’s face it, Jesus was long in the past. Following his lead may have worked few millennia ago, but The Bible just doesn’t apply to modern times.
Plus unlike the olden days, where we only had the Bible and stories to tell us what to do, we now have so many other mediums from which to choose our idols. Because of this, and the changing nature of my life, I look to many people for advice. What would Jay Z do, is one of my personal favorites. Other models include Link, Tom Brady, and Matt Dorfman. When I become a father, you can be sure that I will be thinking to myself, “What would Sandy Cohen do?”
# posted by Marmaniac @ 1:01 AM 
