Your Thoughts Exactly

NFL season is almost upon us! And in the true spirit of Your Thoughts Exactly, we're here to tell you what to think about all the NFL teams so you don't have to! Meticulously researched, and with no bias whatsoever, I present the NFC Preview!

NFC North:

Bears:
Da Bears! Who on earth can predict what the Bears are going to do this season? Me. The answer is me. The Bears have new coaches, a new QB, a new running back, a new defensive scheme, a new pass-rush specialist, and a new guard. And a lot of injuries. Well, the Bears’ defense is middling at best. Adewale Ogunleye should help get a few sacks for a defense that got the fewest in the league. But will the Cover 2 help? I, for one, have never been a fan of the Cover 2. I think it only worked for Tampa because of their incredible talent. But I think it does help hide the deficiencies of a unit that has a lot, especially with Lovie Smith’s emphasis on turnovers. I think the Cover 2 helps beat bad teams and doesn’t work against good teams. But that’s just the defense. Rex Grossman is directing the offense, and Thomas Jones will be the starter, usurping Anthony Thomas, who I feel never got a fair shake with the crumbling O-line and his injury. Remember, he was Offensive Rookie of the Year! But oh well. Grossman has a lot to learn, so it’s probably good that he’ll be opening the year against the Lions. But I think this team can go on a tear early, sort of like the Vikings last year, and limp into the playoffs. I say, 11-5. (Do I really think this? No, but I made a prediction a long time ago and I can pretend for at least 4 more days.)

Lions:
Will this be the year that they return to the playoffs? Will this be the year that Joey Harrington proves he isn’t a bust? The Lions were really busy in the off-season. Two of their bigger additions- Damien Woody from the Patriots and Fernando Bryant from the Jags will probably help them. Really, signing anybody to this team would help them as they were terrible. But there are still big question marks at running back and QB. If Kevin Jones performs adequately and Roy Williams performs up to a little of the hype, Harrington should have a pretty good offense around him. As for defense, the Lions weren’t that bad last year. Fernando Bryant and Brock Marion will help their secondary, and their front seven should perform similarly. So look for a 6-10 finish.

Packers:
The end of the run for the Packers is near. You still have Brett Favre and Ahman Green, two incredibly potent offensive threats. But the Packers had already been overachieving most of last year. They never should have made the playoffs, being saved by a miracle Arizona team, and they got incredibly lucky and incredibly unlucky in their playoff games. Well, the defense hasn’t gotten much better, and Mike McKenzie (star CB of the wild card game) is continuing to hold out, and the two sides aren’t really getting any closer to a deal. This team should continue to put up points in bunches, but with Favre getting older and throwing picks left and right, this team is going to have trouble. Obviously Ahman is worth a few wins as well. Look for 7-9.

Vikings:
Everyone’s preseason favorite to win the NFC north, and why not? They underachieved last year, made some nice additions in the offseason (CB Antoine Winfield, former Bear WR Marcus Robinson), and basically have everyone important coming back. And who’s important? Daunte and Randy. Well, the word out of training camp is that Randy is going to be unstoppable with the new illegal contact rules. Sure, sure. But Moss always had the talent to be the absolute best receiver in the NFL. I think he’ll be better, but unless he’s learned a new focus that escaped him earlier in his career, he’ll still have lapses of concentration. Look for him to have only slightly better numbers over his career average. As for the defense? Well, Winfield will help, and their secondary was none too good last year. But the real question is, why did they totally fall apart in the last half of 2003? Have they fixed it? Well, I still see this defense as prone to being lit up on any given Sunday, and you can’t field a great team just based on offense. 10-6.

NFC South:

Panthers:
The Panthers lost a bunch of players on their defensive unit, but at least all of their big front four are still there. But losing two corners, a linebacker, and a few starters off the o-line spells disaster to me, especially when your team was the luckiest team of 2003. They won a game off a blocked extra point! I mean, come on. Jake Delhomme is a good starter in this league and Stephen Davis will always be a threat too, but without a lot of luck and needing a little time for their new O-line to come together, I think they’ll go into an early tail-spin and not quite recover. I say 6-10.

Bucs:
Tampa has totally rebuilt this team; almost a completely new O-line is in the works (I think Kenyatta Walker is the only guy returning), the Keyshawn for Joey Galloway trade, losing Sapp to the Raiders, and getting Charlie Garner. Yet, Brad Johnson is still running the show. You can’t see anything but mediocrity out of this team. Yeah, they still have Derrick Brooks, McFarland, and Ronde Barber, but it doesn’t look like they’ll be able to have the same impact. And Jon Gruden doesn’t seem like he is going to do anything different than last year, just hoping that this talent change alone will be enough to get them back to the playoffs. I don’t think so, 7-9 again for you guys.

Saints:
This team also seems like a team on the verge of breaking out. Here we have a team that’s returning almost everybody from the 2003 campaign, and with Deuce McAllister poised to make the leap, I think they can too. Is their defense any better with the addition of Brian Young to the D-line? Probably not, and if that’s your best addition, you probably have faith in your defense. Well, it was pretty good last year, so maybe that’s not so misplaced. It just needs a little consistency. And coupled with the other teams in this division, I think the Saints can make the playoffs. Deuce can rush for 1500 easily, and if Aaron Brooks can do what he did last year, they should be better. This was a team that was plagued with inconsistency, which you could blame Haslett for. But if they keep it up, 10-6.

Falcons:
Michael Vick, ladies and gentlemen! He’s back, and with a revamped defense! And by revamped, I mean even worse. They lost Ray Buchanan to the raiders, Juran Bolden to the Jaguars, and drafted DeAngelo Hall, who promptly got hurt and will probably miss the opener. Plus, he’s a rookie, so it’s no good pinning your hopes on a newcomer. But they got Aaron Beasley, a decent nickel back, but probably not good enough to turn around this team. And Jim Mora Jr. is now in charge, after Dan Reeves had an ugly exit last year. Can you believe that they actually managed 5 wins? I chalk it up to teams totally underestimating them. Yeah, Vick returned to win 3 out of the last 4, but for some reason I can’t seem to see him lasting through a whole season. He’s already pulled a hamstring in the preseason. If he loses confidence in his body, he can’t possibly be as good. But I’m rooting for him to stay healthy, because if he does, he’s a one man wrecking crew. The problem is, the whole defense is revamped and it will take them some time to jell. Vick hasn’t looked sharp in the preseason, but apparently is not a fan of it. They certainly didn’t give him much help in terms of receiving, because Dez White is not the answer at No. 2, and Peerless Price may not even be the answer at No. 1. Oh well, if Vick stays healthy, I say 9-7.


NFC West:

Seahawks:
Ah, the Seahawks. They deserved to beat those Packers, if only because Senor Hasselbeck was bold enough to announce to the entire Lambeau crowd that they were going to take the ball and win. But seriously, this team seems to have it all. They lost their DTs, but made up for it slightly by getting Wistrom from the Rams and drafting Tubbs in the first round. D-tackle is a mysterious position anyway, what with 385-pound Ted Washington making 5 tackles but absolutely dominating the season. The real story here is the solidity at all the positions. Hasselbeck, who could easily be top 5 quarterbacks this year, Shaun Alexander, ditto for halfbacks, and their receiving corps, which boasts the good 1-2 punch of Jackson and Robinson. Their O-line returns most of its starters as well. On the defensive side, they lost Shaun Springs but made up for it with Bobby Taylor, and should be at least consistent (let’s not count the 44-41 debacle at Baltimore) like they were last year, albeit with the aforementioned question marks at D-line. Anyway, take a look at the rest of the division and you’ll see why it’s clear this team is going to go 13-3.

Rams:
It’s difficult to say how the Rams will do this year. They’ve lost a bunch of players on defense, Grant Wistrom, Kim Herring, and Brian Young. And Kyle Turley is out for the season. Ok, so only Wistrom is that important, but they lost him within the division. And Marshall Faulk is a year older, but he’s still a premier back, and worth a few wins. Marc Bulger still has Mike Martz’s full confidence, but should he really? With Torry Holt and Isaac Bruce, obviously, it’s hard not to be decent, but it sure seems like the Rams are on their way out. I’d say this season lies on Martz’s shoulders, but he’s always been considered an offensive specialist, not a game management one. So, can they win without a beefed-up defense? Will the loss of Lovie Smith really hurt them that much? Well, Smith’s dedication to getting turnovers seemed to dominate their philosophy, so much so that it seemed to get in their way of playing consistent defense. Perhaps they will be a little more ‘normal’ this year, but I can’t see it getting them past 9-7.

Cardinals:
How can this team continue to be so bad? Josh McCown is your starting QB, you have a bunch of no-name RBs, and two up and coming wideouts. But what good are Fitzgerald and Boldin going to be if McCown can’t get them the ball? Maybe they were counting on the illegal contact penalty to be more strict this year, and McCown to just throw the ball up there and have the receivers get the call. They didn’t do much to help their defense, which was one of the league’s worst last year, and so I can’t seem them improving much past their 4-12 record. Denny Green has inherited a real loser here. What else can you say about this team? I just don’t know. 6-10, if only because 1) they showed a little fire at the end of last year, and 2) they get to play:

49ers:
Tim Rattay! Kevan Barlow! Rashaun Woods! These are names to strike fear into your opposition! They lost Derrick Deese, one of their only solid O-linemen, and are left with pretty green people left. The defense returns most of its starters, and they were average last year, but you just can’t win if you don’t score. Who on earth will they get the ball to on offense? Who knows? They’ll be lucky to score 3 points a game, especially with Todd Peterson kicking. Look for them to have a lot of 3 and outs, especially for the first half of the season. Will they learn to play together better later in the season? Maybe, but I’m predicting a 0-8 start and a 2-14 finish.

NFC East:

Giants
My sleeper pick of the season. They had a lot of problems last year, but they should be able to get things done on both sides of the ball. The team is vastly changed, with people flying in and off the roster like crazy. Shockey is back, Kurt Warner is out to prove something, they’ve made some good additions to both the O-line and D-line, and even Ron Dayne is trying to resurrect the days of Thunder and Lighting. Now only if they had better receivers than Ike Hilliard and Amani Toomer. But on defense, they’ve added DT Norman Hand, CB Terry Cousin, and LB Carlos Emmons. All solid pick-ups, (though they lost people at those same positions). But I believe this team underachieved like crazy last year. And though it might take a few games to get settled, I think the playoffs are not out of the question at 10-6.

Eagles:
Man, this team was busy in the off-season as well. Jevon Kearse, Hugh Douglas, and of course, Terrell Owens. The biggest knock on Philly for the longest time was that they had no receivers. Well Donovan, you have no more excuses on the offensive side of the ball. Brian Westbrook and Correll Buckhalter will easily fill in Duce Staley’s absence, as Duce was nothing but an average back, and the rest we’ll have to leave up to Donovan and T.O. But T.O. is incredibly frustrating: will he stay focused in Philly or will the rabid fans and media get to him? Who knows? On the defensive side, however, they lost both their starting corners, Troy Vincent and Bobby Taylor. Many Philadelphians believe that they had started to lose a step and were getting too old to play. Well, I hope your other five corners (aged 25, 22, 23, 21, 23) are the answer. It’ll take a few games as well for Philly’s secondary to jell, but they’ll be helped by the fact that Kearse and Douglas will be rushing the passer. But it’ll be a step backward before it’s a step forward. Look for 11-5.

Cowboys:
I see one glaring problem here. Their starting QB is Vinny Testaverde. I think Parcells has been drinking again, and thinks it’s 2000 again. Sorry, but Vinny is not the solution at QB. But at least they released both QC and Chad Hutchinson. And Eddie George is not the solution at halfback. Keyshawn for Galloway is a slight upgrade, but again, Vinny won’t be able to find him. Vinny is 40 years old! And yes, the defense could be solid again, but probably not. For being the lowest scoring defense, they really could use a lot of improvement. I think both sides of the ball will be significantly worse this year. And by the way, it’s Vinny Testaverde! Blech! 5-11.

Redskins:
How can we still have a team called the Redskins? I don’t understand this? And what’s with the Cleveland Indians’ logo, Chief Wahoo? Does it get any more racist? Um, ok, back to the topic.
So Mark Brunell and Clinton Portis are the big names in D.C., and for good reason. If Clinton really is as good as Madden 2005 says he is, they’re in for a treat. If he’s only as good as Denver thinks he is, then it might not be pretty. But the team upgraded quite a few positions. Even CB wasn’t too bad a downgrade as they were able to fill in Champ’s hole with Shaun Springs and Walt Harris. Other big names signed were DT Cornelius Griffin and LB Marcus Washington, both solid Madden ’05 players as well! I think Redskins management has been using it as a scouting tool. And I have to give credit to that. So I think they’ll be solid this year, if Joe Gibbs hasn’t lost a step. 10-6.


So, Playoffs:
Divisional Winners:
Seahawks (Bye)
Eagles (Bye)
Bears
Saints

Wild Card:
Redskins
Vikings

Bears vs. Redskins, Redskins win at Soldier Field, 34-14
Vikings vs. Saints, Saints win at Superdome, 24-10

Divisional:
Redskins vs. Seahawks, Seahawks win at Qwest Field, 35-31.
Saints vs. Eagles, Eagles win at the Linc, 31-0.
NFC Championship:
Yes, the Seahawks beat the Eagles again, causing mass suicide in Philly, on a last second field goal, 24-23.

Disclaimers: I have the NFC winning 132 games, but you should realize that the bears are actually going to go 5-11, so that’s actually like the NFC winning 126 games.

To find out who those lovable Seahawks are going to play in the Super Bowl, read further down to see Marmaniac's Crazy Wavy AFC Predictions!