Thursday, May 20, 2004
I think my mommy's gone crazy
Hi. I’m Apple Blythe Alison Martin. Yep, you read that right. I know, I know, I’m too young to type and think and all that stuff. But in this age of technology I don’t need to know how to do anything like that to tell you that I think my mommy has gone crazy, especially when there’s someone out there with nothing better to do with his time than do it for me.
Apple? You know how much trouble that’s going to get me into in school? You know how many nicknames are at the ready - Braeburn, Gala, Pink Lady, etc. - and that’s just from the unoriginal kids. Think anyone will try to make a bong out of me?
This is just not something that should be done to an innocent. Apple? What kind of name is that? Especially when there are so many good names in the fruit family. Peach, Banana, Kiwi. Pear – like Peach, perfect for the sweet sound of alliteration once I take that crazy ho’s more famous surname. But Apple? My mommy must be on crack. Hey, maybe that’s why I only weigh 3 pounds. I mean, I’m too young to be bulimic, right?
Apple? You know how much trouble that’s going to get me into in school? You know how many nicknames are at the ready - Braeburn, Gala, Pink Lady, etc. - and that’s just from the unoriginal kids. Think anyone will try to make a bong out of me?
This is just not something that should be done to an innocent. Apple? What kind of name is that? Especially when there are so many good names in the fruit family. Peach, Banana, Kiwi. Pear – like Peach, perfect for the sweet sound of alliteration once I take that crazy ho’s more famous surname. But Apple? My mommy must be on crack. Hey, maybe that’s why I only weigh 3 pounds. I mean, I’m too young to be bulimic, right?
# posted by Anonymous @ 6:58 PM 
